What have I become?

Halfway through 2009, what have I learned about myself?

I care way too easy.

I'm not as strong as I had thought.

While my personality may be more mature than my age, I'm still very young.

Nothing lasts forever.

People are selfish.

As perfect as things may seem, there's usually a catch.

I have the inability to show emotion in front of people. Meaning, I don't show my true feelings in person well.

My heart is more fragile than I'd thought.

I am ridiculously indecisive. Do us all a favor, save some time, and just make up my mind for me. Cause I'll never do it on my own.

I love knowing things. Random, pointless things.

Even when I'm unhappy, I'm always thinking like an optimist.

I hate wearing pants.

I've got a couple amazing people in my life. People that I would never survive without.

No matter what, there's always going to be someone to love me. That someone is my cat.

Love is not enough.

I am very curious but won't step over any lines to satisfy my curiosity.

I don't really fit in anywhere.

I have terrible insomnia.

I love who I am, flaws and all.

I tend to over analyze things.

I always forgive too easy.

Sometimes no matter how hard you try, it's never going to be good enough. You just have to live with and accept it.

I am completely clueless.

No body will ever truly understand the way I am, and it doesn't bother me. In fact, I kind of like that I'm the only one who understands the way I think.

I've forgotten who I used to be. How to be careless and enjoy every second of every day.

Twitter was created by the devil, to ruin everything.

I hate my room, I hate this house, I hate this family. But my room in my escape, my house is a safe place, and my family has their moments.

Being angry can be fun.

I have some weird taste in music, that people won't understand.

It's okay to look stupid.

I bake when I'm stressed.

Music can cure a bad mood.

Music can break my heart into smaller pieces.

I really miss dancing around like an idiot.

I want my friend's happiness more than my own. I'll sacrifice anything necessary to make everything okay for them.

I get more things accomplished if I can do it in my underwear.

No matter how badly people hurt me, I'm always going to be here when they need me.

I need someone musically driven in my life. Even if I'm not creating it myself, I need someone to keep me connected to it so I never forget what making music is all about.

It's easy to be replaced, never get too comfortable with where you feel you stand.

I don't know where I'm going, or what I'm doing. Life is a mystery to me, I'm figuring it out as I go.

It's always been me and 'her'.

I desperately want to go back to who I used to be.

I am very easily persuaded.

My parents will not allow me to be myself, unless we want the same things. For the record: We do not.

I'm the type of person that loves a schedule, but hates being tied down to it.

I will not fall in love. I won't allow myself to.
To fall in love, I have to feel like I can trust someone fully, and be able to be completely comfortable with them. Which are two things I rarely ever feel.  So if I tell you I love you, I fucking mean it.

I deserve better than that.

I can't expect anyone to always be there. Eventually everyone leaves, because no relationship lasts forever.

It is up to me -and only me- to take care of myself, and deal with my own problems. People don't actually give a shit; they have their own lives to deal with.

People love being important, and will do anything to feel that way.

I constantly find myself questioning how life works. But those questions are for another blog.




...tbc
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