Loser

 Found a video from a couple weeks ago. I got realllllllly bored after I got home from Mexico. I was still trying to hide from the sun, so I didn't really have anything better to do than sit in front of the computer while all my friends were busy that day.

This just proves how much of a loser I really am.

Haha.

  

For some reason my computer won't record audio, so this is as good as videos coming from this computer are ever going to get.

And to Amy Cummins: Stay the fuck away from here. I don't want to hear your what you have to say.
Whatever you say, I will delete.

Moth

I'm currently looking forward to saving up money to get my next tattoo. I figured since I'm sure people will be asking me why I got it, I should just write it down because it takes a little explaining.

I want to get a moth on my forearm. An emperor moth to be specific.

There are a lot of reasons for the moth, other than my unexplained love for them.

It's about transformation into a different kind of beauty. It's about being a child of the moon, and being a creature of the night. And being drawn to the light.


Society looks at butterflies as beautiful; with their bright colors and pretty patterns. But no one really pays much attention to the beauty of a moth. They are just as beautiful and unique as a butterfly, only they are a slightly darker creature.

I've always thought of myself as very different than the typical kind of beauty that I'm surrounded by. I find many different things beautiful in life and people that most might not. I chose to be very different from most of the people around me, and I am far from ordinary. I find beauty in even the darker things in life. I do not fear or avoid the dark. In fact, I love and embrace it.

Moths are much like a butterfly, when it comes to transformation from a small little caterpillar into something greater and more beautiful. But even the transformations are different from one another. A butterfly's cocoon is soft on the outside, vulnerable to the outside world. A moth's cocoon is harder on the outside and strong against the elements. After the transformation, butterflies spend their lives carelessly fluttering around in the sunlight. And a moth spends its time searching for the moon at night.
Symbolism of a moth talks about how they are children of the moon. They are drawn to the lights around us because they are searching for the lunar light.
They are nocturnal creatures, and I might as well be. Nighttime is my favorite, and I find it more beautiful than any other point in the day. It changes, and you can see further into the sky than you can at any other time. You watch the sun set and the moon rise with the stars. What is more beautiful than that?

There's more about the symbolism of the moth here. They can explain it better than I could.
The more I learn about this creature, the more in love I become with it.

While in Mexico, we came across this big and beautiful moth. About the size if a small bird, all I wanted to do was look at and hold it while everyone ran for the door.
I just wanted to take it home with me.

                                      

I made Tessa take pictures of it for me.

But after so much as coming into contact with this amazing creature, I feel more ready than ever to get this tattoo.
I'm so excited for it.



Yesterday I tried writing here, but no matter how hard I tried to explain what's going on in this crazy head of mine, this is all I could get out into words:

"It's funny how quickly things change.

And how sometimes even the biggest changes, don't really change things at all."

I am definitely feeling the change and the transformation into who I am becoming. There's a lot of change going on around me, and while some of it is altering things in my life in a big way, some of these things are showing me that no matter what phase of my life I'm in, this will always be how I am going to be. I am learning more and more about myself, and realizing what I truly value in life. I'm getting closer to the point in my life where I'm going to become who I will be for the rest of my life.

I'm worried none of this is making any sense..

Anyway, here are my pictures from Mexico: [LINK]