Halfway through 2009, what have I learned about myself?
I care way too easy.
I'm not as strong as I had thought.
While my personality may be more mature than my age, I'm still very young.
Nothing lasts forever.
People are selfish.
As perfect as things may seem, there's usually a catch.
I have the inability to show emotion in front of people. Meaning, I don't show my true feelings in person well.
My heart is more fragile than I'd thought.
I am ridiculously indecisive. Do us all a favor, save some time, and just make up my mind for me. Cause I'll never do it on my own.
I love knowing things. Random, pointless things.
Even when I'm unhappy, I'm always thinking like an optimist.
I hate wearing pants.
I've got a couple amazing people in my life. People that I would never survive without.
No matter what, there's always going to be someone to love me. That someone is my cat.
Love is not enough.
I am very curious but won't step over any lines to satisfy my curiosity.
I don't really fit in anywhere.
I have terrible insomnia.
I love who I am, flaws and all.
I tend to over analyze things.
I always forgive too easy.
Sometimes no matter how hard you try, it's never going to be good enough. You just have to live with and accept it.
I am completely clueless.
No body will ever truly understand the way I am, and it doesn't bother me. In fact, I kind of like that I'm the only one who understands the way I think.
I've forgotten who I used to be. How to be careless and enjoy every second of every day.
Twitter was created by the devil, to ruin everything.
I hate my room, I hate this house, I hate this family. But my room in my escape, my house is a safe place, and my family has their moments.
Being angry can be fun.
I have some weird taste in music, that people won't understand.
It's okay to look stupid.
I bake when I'm stressed.
Music can cure a bad mood.
Music can break my heart into smaller pieces.
I really miss dancing around like an idiot.
I want my friend's happiness more than my own. I'll sacrifice anything necessary to make everything okay for them.
I get more things accomplished if I can do it in my underwear.
No matter how badly people hurt me, I'm always going to be here when they need me.
I need someone musically driven in my life. Even if I'm not creating it myself, I need someone to keep me connected to it so I never forget what making music is all about.
It's easy to be replaced, never get too comfortable with where you feel you stand.
I don't know where I'm going, or what I'm doing. Life is a mystery to me, I'm figuring it out as I go.
It's always been me and 'her'.
I desperately want to go back to who I used to be.
I am very easily persuaded.
My parents will not allow me to be myself, unless we want the same things. For the record: We do not.
I'm the type of person that loves a schedule, but hates being tied down to it.
I will not fall in love. I won't allow myself to.
To fall in love, I have to feel like I can trust someone fully, and be able to be completely comfortable with them. Which are two things I
rarely ever feel. So if I tell you I love you, I fucking mean it.
I deserve better than that.
I can't expect anyone to always be there. Eventually everyone leaves, because no relationship lasts forever.
It is up to me -and only me- to take care of myself, and deal with my own problems. People don't actually give a shit; they have their own lives to deal with.
People love being important, and will do anything to feel that way.
I constantly find myself questioning how life works. But those questions are for another blog.
...tbc
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