I have nothing to say, and I'm saying it.

My life feels like a mess. It's time to clean up. Hopefully I get everything I want to get done this weekend. It seems to have no control over my life anymore, and it's driving me absolutely insane. But, I'll fix that. I always do. It's time to change.



In other news:
Mom's breast cancer test came back 'inconclusive'. She has to go in for another biopsy.

It seems she's becoming more of a mother now. It feels pretty nice. But my dad may have liver cancer, so we'll see if that'll turn him into a better dad? Don't get me wrong, I don't like that my parents may both have cancer. I just like that my mother and I are actually getting along, and it feels like she's trying harder to be a good mother.
We'll see how all this plays out.

Everyone dies eventually. Just because they're more aware of it now, shouldn't change anything, except their want to get more out of life. So no one should be sad. We should all just realize life could be shorter than we think, so we really do need to take advantage of our time, rather than always worrying about when it's going to end.



Nine Inch Nails will be in Portland in a couple weeks, and I must say, I'm fucking ready. I need this NIN fix to get me back on track. I just miss the whole environment of it all. I miss the people, and the feeling of reaching that goal of getting to the front, and hopefully getting to chat with the guys. I like having an achievable goal to reach for. I'm thinking about bribing Rob with coffee over Twinkle so they'll let us inside early, and out of the cold. Haha. Cause dude, the wait will be FREEZING. And I'll do whatever it takes to avoid it, even if it's really dumb. Haha.

It seems like all the Portlanders are ready to prove that we aren't as dull a crowd as people think we are. Everyone is so excited and ready to rock the fuck out. Good for them.


Turns out my mother won't be taking us to Vegas, because she'll be getting another biospy that week, and she'll be laying around for a few days. Last time every time she stood up, she stared bleeding. So that's definitely not going to happen.

That sucks, I REALLLLLY wanted to go to Vegas.
: [

Also, Carol took us to 2 places already. It'd be nice for my mother to take us somewhere for a change.


I think I'm going to re-do everything now. From my layout here, to my room. Things need to change, I feel like everything remains the same ALL the time, and it's driving me crazy. We'll see how far I get with all that.

3 more weeks in this term, and I'm so ready for another vacation.